Hey guys! I know I haven’t been active these past few weeks, but I’ve just been going through a lot internally. Bouts of depression and hopelessness keep coming on and off, that’s why I haven’t been doing much. So I’m sorry to all of you for that! Thank you to all my followers that stayed with me. I honestly thought I would have no one left whenever I logged back on haha. So thanks again guys. <3 I’m glad I decided against deleting my tumblr.
Anyways, progress has halted. I know why. I’ve been getting off track. And by off track, I mean more of like exercise stuff. I used to walk a lot, and now not so much. So I’m trying really hard to start exercising again. Actually, my new Korean pen pal has kind of influenced me to do so. He’s skinny, so he wants to gain some weight in muscle, and is doing it the healthy way with eating more healthy food and lifting weights at the gym and drinking protein powder. I’m so proud of him, even though I didn’t exactly tell him so. He said he even made progress :) I think he gained 5 pounds ^^ He says it’s hard because he’s the kind of person who can eat mountains and not gain an ounce. I was like omg I hate you -.-” haha. He said he can almost bench his own weight :D I was so proud of him :) He eats pretty healthy, and doesn’t eat much junk or fast food. My only concern is all the bread he eats lol It’s like a convenience snack/meal in Korea when having milk with it. Their bread is much sweeter than ours though. So you can imagine my concern! Also, Korean’s digestive systems don’t have as much tolerance for breads and pastas and fast food like us North Americans. I’m guessing it’s because of the way their ancestors and our ancestors ate for a very long time so yeah, it adds more to the concern! Anyways, point is, I love him and I’m happy he’s a healthy guy and encourages healthiness and well being :) Don’t get me wrong though, he’s in no way athletic whatsoever haha xD He’s more of a reader ^^ But anyways, I even told him the other day about my diabetic grandma and how I have a very very high chance of getting diabetes when I’m older especially since I love sweet food more than anything and told me that the only way I can prevent it is with diet and exercise. He told me I should run or jog in my neighborhood because it’s so nice and quiet haha. I was honestly really touched and I thought about it… and I realized he was right. If I don’t take care of myself, my body will attack me and I’ll have to live with this disease for the rest of my life… and I don’t want that to happen!
Today I was lying on my mom’s bed and I was thinking about going outside to exercise. I thought… well it’s noon already, so it’s probably really hot outside. Then I thought about my weight loss journey and why I’m doing this. I thought there are plenty of reasons why I should and want to lose weight. One being the upcoming wedding of my friend. I don’t want to be fat at another wedding! The second reason had to do with my pen pal. I want to be healthy so he doesn’t have to worry about me and I want to be able to confidently send him videos with me actually IN it! I want to be able show him my awesome
(I’m being sarcastic lol) dance moves! All the videos I’ve sent so far, don’t show my face or body. I’m literally hiding behind the camera… even though I don’t think he senses it. I finally managed to take a picture of my face for him though, but that’s it!
So after I thought about all of that, you know what I did? I said fuck this shit! I got up and went to my room put on some pants, slathered sunscreen on my face, put on a light sweater, my scarf, and grabbed my roller blades from the floor with my iPod in hand. I went downstairs, sat down, put on my skates and went outside and skated for some time! It was fun although it was hot as fuck. I endured it! As I started skating continuously without stopping, the side and back of my thigh started to hurt like a mother -sneeze- Whew ~ Excuse me! Anyways, it started to hurt all the way up to my ass. When it started to hurt, I wanted to stop really bad, but I pushed through it! ^^ Thoughts like “I bet I’ll get an ass just by doing this!" and "I wonder if only one cheek will get perkier and leave the other flat. OMG CAN THAT EVEN HAPPEN?!" started to stream through my head xD Of course, my legs and lower back (had to bend over for velocity) hurt too but that’s normal. Seriously though, I hope my ass evens out normally xD Anyways, I plan on skating more when my parents come home because it will be cooler ^^
Wow, if you read until here…. then damn haha A+ for you! <3 Ugh I’m so pissed though cause I had to write this ALL OVER AGAIN because of fucking tumblr mobile -.-” But yeah, it felt good writing this out! Maybe I’ll make more updates more often :) (Just not on tumblr mobile -.-“) Anyways, have a bangin’ day guys! I love you all! <3 ^^ ~
P.S. I think I have a major crush on my pen pal >//////<” I mean I could talk about him all day *o* He’s just so perfect! Even his flaws… I’m trying not to like him too much though because I know I will just be disappointed
with rejection T^T