• guinness world records man: sir you have done nothing but do pushups from this one spot for 20 years with no rest. what drives you?
  • me, still doing pushups: i wanna push this planet out of the idiot solar system and into the horrifying abyss of the unknown universe and this is the only way I know how
  • world records man, in awe: [drops everything and instantly begins doing pushups next to me]
  • alt-j:

    calcium more like coolcium haha drink ur milk kids

    subsiding:

    financial status: I just washed a paper plate.

    spreadyourwiings:

    socially-inactive:

    pyroluminescence:

    I’M

    I LOVE YOU KAREN

    Dying

    landorus:

    i love bears so much theyre so cute i want to hug one without dying

    digivolvin:

    last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up

    unwakeable:

    that time in the night when you can’t stop yawning but can’t get to sleep either

    thatanomalousblog:

I’ve come too far to risk all this good luck

    thatanomalousblog:

    I’ve come too far to risk all this good luck

    fayedaniels:

    blackgirlsrpretty2:

    it’s not your job to entertain him by sending him nudes

    it’s not your job to satisfy him sexually because he’s horny

    you are not required to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or that you don’t want to do

    don’t be scared of “loosing him”

    he most likely wasn’t anything worth keeping

    Girls need to be taught this from such an early age.

    juilan:

theawkwardterrier:

The guy in front of me when I was getting ice cream tonight was wearing this.

update: i banged him

    juilan:

    theawkwardterrier:

    The guy in front of me when I was getting ice cream tonight was wearing this.

    update: i banged him

    seoul-babo:

    Whenever I have an important assignment due:

    • Wow man Tumblr is just so interesting today…
    • I have 6043 funny ideas for some comics. Let’s just draw all night.
    • OR MAYBE I should start on that novel I’ve been planning for the past 4 years.
    • Woah, wait a minute, now I’m suddenly pumped to start…
    damnnlyssa:

before and after injecting 1 meth

    damnnlyssa:

    before and after injecting 1 meth