theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

image

sogaysoalive:

I can never stop laughing at this

emasturbating:

i already know how unpopular i am on this website i dont need a graph to tell me thanks

notifigaytion:

if finland’s country border isnt called the finnish line then i have nothing to live for

phloeticexpressions:

me getting snacks for the turn up function

phloeticexpressions:

me getting snacks for the turn up function

alt-j:

when I say “lmao” I do not mean “laughing my ass off” I mean “lmao”

burgerkid:

me trying to do stuff

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lanashiftdelrey:

sassykardashian:

Science side of tumblr how do I become a jellyfish

perform the following ritualimage

seedy:

it’s 2014 and body hair still does the thing where it grows back when u get rid of it??? wow get ur shit together science 

riseabovedefeat:

back when disney channel actually taught real life morals and did a good job of it

dean-samwiches:

krystl-meth:

clarknokent:

thatonechick42:

littlecupcakenymph:

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Oh.My.God. 

There ARE ACTUAL REAL MEN OUT THERE??!

THAT RESPECT WOMEN?

THAT ACCEPT “no” FOR AN ANSWER?

What.is.happening.

Quick, reblog this everywhere so we can learn and grow as a species!

Exactly the type of response guys should give when girls say no to anything, from dates-to sex.

RARE!

i love this :) he is so respectful for a guy who’s icon is his dick

baggier:

THIS IS WORSE THAN THE MUG GIRL

killedmycatatemytailor:

xsongmihix:

cadyanne94:

Dedicated to all my fellow retail employees

All of these are oh so painfully true.

I used to work at McDonalds and literally every single one of them has happened to me. Ergh.

lissettemoronta:

Be a selfish bitch.

Don’t feel bad for going after what you want. 

Do that shit on your own fucking terms.

Hold a middle finger up to anyone who puts you down.

Wear what you want.

Do what you want. 

Worry about yourself being good before anyone else.

Live life to the fucking fullest. 

You run you.

You paint your own damn masterpiece.

Never fucking forget that.

animethug69:

cute date idea: smash my skull in with a large rock and end my worthless life